Things Mexicans Like #7 - Pepper (chile)

You would probably never think to put pepper in the center of a watermelon flavored candy, but a Mexican would. You would more than likely never desire to coat a lollipop in chili powder, but you can bet your sweet ass that a Mexican would. Here, if it’s not hot, it’s not worth eating. This is understandable with entrees such as chile relleno (a chili pepper stuffed with meat, or if you’re me, cheese. By the way, it’s impossible to be vegan here. Just try avoiding cheese in Mexico. It’s like avoiding crabs in a skeezy strip club where the strippers inform you that you smell like chicken.); however it makes no sense whatsoever to me to add tear jerking spice to something dulce (sweet). If you’ve ever tried Mikey’s “Chocolate Thunder” at Café Coco and likened it to hate in liquid form, just imagine EVERYTHING tasting like that, and you’ll be one step closer to Mexico.

I am exaggerating a bit about the spice, as there are many restaurants with American influence in Oaxaca. There are plenty of cafés that are very much along the lines of Café Coco or Bongo Java (yes, I have visited them on many occasions). There’s also an Italian Coffee Company (~Starbucks) on nearly every corner in the downtown center, and sporadically throughout the city you’ll find a McDonalds, Burger King, KFC, and Dominos Pizza (I’d like to state on record that I have taken great care to avoid these institutions). But for authentic Oaxacano cuisine that would make you slap your mama if she wasn’t two thousand miles away, I go to La Casa del Tío Güero. There are two really great things about this place: 1 – options sin carne (without meat) and 2 – the food is muy barato (very cheap). For sesenta (sixty) pesos (roughly $6 USD) you get a drink, appetizer, entrée, and dessert. Did I mention that there is no meat! AH! It’s so exciting! The sad part is, there’s hardly ever anyone there, and these cats definitely deserve business, so next time you find yourself in Oaxaca (probably never) make sure you go to Porfirio Diaz and check out La Casa del Tío Güero.

Thing I won’t miss #4 – Only getting hit on by old, ugly, fat men. Wait… that happens in the states too. DAMMIT. At least at home it’s roughly the same demographic, but occurs much less frequently than here. The ridiculously uncomfortable forwardness of men is part of that whole “macho” attitude that you’ll find in throughout Mexico (save the Istmo, where things are much more matriarchal). I definitely won’t look back fondly on lines like, “Hello, I’m a lawyer, can I have your phone number?” or “Would you like to help me practice my English tonight?”
*note* credit for the above photo goes to Caazena. This guy is a prime example of what I won't miss. He informed us that night that there was "mucho amor en Mexico". Lo siento, good sir, but I don't think I want any of your amor.

Here's a more serious thing I won't miss: machine guns. After four and a half weeks, I'm pretty much numb to the truckloads full of police and military personal with automatic weapons in hand. It's something I see in the streets about every other day. Something I'm not exactly used to is having to walk past five guys in plain clothes holding machine guns - and that's exactly what happened on Monday. After I posted my last blog at La Brujala (a cafe in the centro), I was walking back to mi casa on Avenida Reforma, a road I've walked many times during my stay here in Oaxaca. To my left I noticed two Policia (policemen). No big deal. However, across from them, to the right of the sidewalk, and therefore on the other side of me, were three normal looking men with large guns. I'm hoping they were plain clothes officers, but it scared me nonetheless to have to walk through 5 machine guns. I wasn't doing anything wrong, but I didn't want to be on that street anymore. Shit happens, guns misfire, confusion erupts... wars have started that way and I just didn't want to be a part of that. So I hung a quick left on Humbolt... only to find two more armed men who would otherwise pass as civilians. It's a big intimidation thing here, and I'm just pissed that I have to be afraid when I've done nothing wrong. I still don't know what was going down on that corner on Monday, but whatever it was, I definitely won't miss it.

Thing I will miss #3 – Walking. In spite of all the crazy drivers, this is such a pedestrian friendly city. Throughout the center there are constant sidewalks, one way streets that are easy to cross, and several pedestrian only roads. I can’t believe I haven’t driven in five weeks. Also because I have so much time on my hands, I don’t think twice about setting out for somewhere that’s three or four miles away. The other night we left La Olla (where we ate for dinner) en route to Russio (a bar where Sesenta y nueve was playing), and of course Marisol and Montezerrat assured us that the club was “muy cerca” (very close). Like I said, I don’t think twice about walking. I like it, I’ve been here for a long time so I’m used to it. But after a few blocks Caazena (mi compañera de clase de Dallas, Texas) turned to me and said, “Don’t you love it when people here say something is really close and then fifteen minutes later you’re still walking?” I thought that was really funny. And true.

I should also mention that to negate anything beneficial the walking is doing for my health, I will also miss churros.